for a year now...

For a year now I have sat on the book Crazy Sexy Diet I have applied its principals for the most part but never did the 21 day detox.. so I am going to start it.. tomorrow. I already cut out all coffee products which was the one vice I had remaining.. I can now officially say that all I drink now are water and green smoothies and occasionally some hot teas-- mostly ginger when I have an upset tummy. Today I find myself staring at the hot cup of Apple Cider Vinegar, Braggs of course, mixed with 1tbsp local, raw, organic honey-- its my first time.. I was actually thinking about just taking it as a shot but I didn't have a shot glass, side effect of not being a drinker I guess. I could have just placed it in a regular glass but-- I didn't want a lot of time to pass between throwing my head back and actually drinking the stuff.

My son just walked in and took a look at my drink and said, "ewww what is that? It smells yucky."
awesome.. I am really looking forward to it now.

heck no.. it was gross!! so I just dumped it and took the tbsp straight from the spoon.. it is still gross though.. I better have some freaking good skin and see my belly issues be corrected.. because that was NASTY! my mouth still hates me for it.

My workouts these days are consisting of a squat challenge, the Brazil Butt Lift (I love my butt.. seriously I have the best butt) and a Couch to 5K program and daily yoga. I love my yoga practice it is the most calming part of my day and really helps me to get to sleep.

I finished my semester, not as strong as I would have hoped but I did make a 93 on my science final and got out of the class with a high B. I was happy about that because science is not my favorite class. Even though the semester is over I still have a lot to do though because I got behind in a class and have an INC in it.. so I still have that.. but.. I am already starting to enjoy my summer by reading some for fun books.. right now I am reading Boundaries in Dating; I love the boundaries books and I wish that I would have had this book when I was 15. I definitely plan on having the boys read it and do a bible study with it when they are a little older.. I will probably do it at 13 though because kids these days are NOT made like they were when I was a kid. Already I have had little girls call my phone asking to talk to the boys :/ humph.. and my youngest actually thinks he HAS a girlfriend.. and he kissed a girl! Even my older to boys got on to him about that.. the oldest told him that kissing is only for when you are in love. I like that he thinks that and hope that hormones don't try to convince him otherwise. My biggest regret in life is the way my relationships played out, the last two anyway. The next book I want to read is Safe People. My only question is.. where are these guys? I have made it my goal to start dating soon.. maybe in the fall because right now it is summer time and I am looking forward to lazy days with my boys, a road trip and days spent in the pool.

I am having a lot of "ah ha" moments while reading this book. I have had so many of those moments in the last 5 years and in the last 3 especially. I have been truly, truly blessed to have let go of everyone in the past and formed new friendships and a new future. If it wasn't for the scars and the kids I wouldn't even know that that past even existed  I am proud of the work that I have put in and yet aware of how much more there is to do. I look back on it all and seriously wonder what I was thinking.. I know that so much of it was from the constant stress, the fear of the abuse and of the addict in general, and then throw in some kids and postpartum.. and viola a serious recipe for disaster. But I learned more about what I don't want in a person and in a relationship from that one person than I learned in all the many others that I have dated along the way.